I keep finding myself looking at old photos at night when I should be sleeping. I have over 40,000 photos sorted loosely by year in a folder on my external harddrive. I don’t know what I’m looking for. I used to think I knew who I was. Now I just see pictures of a person that was still just as lost then as I feel right now.
I was late asf to work today; probably because I was up until 2:30. I saw photos and videos of my dead best friend. Interactions I’ve already forgotten about and that seem foreign now. Stupid political memes from before Trump and the mess that has brought on. Things that seemed important then that no longer are. Happier times where I see a glint of hope in my own eyes, but also sadness. A sadness that is now largely dulled, but still present.
Why the fuck did I wait so long? -af
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