Most likely you were sent the link to this page directly. Probably because I’m too scared to talk to you about this face to face. You have no idea how terrifying and anxiety inducing the idea of telling someone you are transgender in person is. Yes, you read that right. The person you have known for years has sent you the link to this page because this is such a sensitive subject in this day and age that they’re too scared of your reaction to do it in person. Hi, my name is Alexis, though you know me by a different name. We’ve known each other for years and you mean a lot to me, otherwise I wouldn’t be sharing this with you.
I’ve been taking feminizing hormones since February 2025 and kinda sorta socially transitioning. I haven’t really put a ton of effort into it because it doesn’t matter a whole lot to me. Some days I wear men’s clothing because it’s easier and I already have a lot of it. Sometimes I want to make myself pretty and dress up. Really what difference does it make? They’re just clothes after all. I’m the exact same person you’ve known for (probably) decades. Sometimes I just present differently than you’re used to.
I know this is new information to you, but I’ve known I was a girl since I was six years old.
Pretty much every new person I’ve met and became friends with over the past two years only know me by my new name. Some even longer, as I’ve used some form of Alex as a username on the internet since the early 2000s. I respond to Alexis, Lexi, Alex, Lex, etc etc. Faye works too, though I might look at you weird for calling me by my middle name. I’m comfortable with any of those and it’s a compromise on my part to make you more comfortable with this new information. If you slip up and call me my old name, I’m not going to beat you up too much over it as long as you’re making an effort to change. If you keep dead-naming me I will just quit responding to you after a while. If you’re openly hostile towards me after reading this we will cease to remain friends. If you’re family, well, no exceptions will be made for you either.
I use she/her pronouns. Again, I’ll allow some leeway on this at first to give you time to adjust. I will correct you if you repeatedly get this wrong. I do not take kindly to being called “they.” You’ll be corrected politely at first, then rudely if you keep doing it.
Adjusting to a new name and pronouns is not that hard.
You’ve done it countless times over the course of your life when cisgender women get married.
Think about it.
I’m not any different than I was before other than appearance. I’m still the person you go hiking or to concerts with. Overnight camping trips will be unchanged, and we’ll still shoot guns, modify cars, and build stuff together. I am the exact same person you’ve always known. Whatever we do together and have bonded over will go on the same as usual. There will be an awkward stage for both of us as we get used to the gender/pronoun changes, but I encourage you to ask questions as long as they’re respectful.
I am the happiest I’ve ever been.
If I’ve ever opened up to you on my mental health, you know I struggled with suicidal thoughts for most of my teenage years through early adulthood. I was always depressed and it felt like that was just my default emotion. I was good at masking it for the most part. Maybe you didn’t know if was such a dominant part of my thoughts for as long as it was. Just know that I’ve started transitioning to finally find love and compassion for myself. That’s what all this is about. I’ve never been this at peace with myself, but I adjusted to it quickly. I know this was the right choice for me and the only regret I have is that I did not do it sooner. I’m never going back.
I’m excited for the rest of my life for the first time in my life. It’s not going to be easy for me, but with your love and support it will make it easier to bear. I love you and our friendship and hope you feel the same. Let’s continue to make memories together. 💜 -af
